I stayed away from Four Loko for the remainder of the weekend. I was just slightly off course.īecca and her friend found me in the Denny's parking lot, hunched over on a parking block with the better part of my right thigh hanging out. As it turned out, the nearest Denny's was two exits up, about two miles away from campus and three from her dorm. She had no clue what I was talking about, and for good reason. After about fifteen minutes of creeping along the freeway, I finally reached an exit and called Becca. I skirted along the edge of the treeline to avoid being seen by a cop car (by this point I had sobered up considerably, and some semblance of reason had found its way back to my mind). I burst out of the tree line and onto the asphalt. I tumbled down one more hill to the foot of a small stream. When I asked her what part of campus the woods were in, she became quite concerned and tried to coach me through the remainder of my trek.Ībout ten minutes later the woods began to even out and I heard running water. I explained that I had left when I needed to go to the bathroom, and that I was on my way to her dorm but had gotten a little lost. It was Becca, calling from her friend's phone. I removed my sopping gloves and grabbed the phone. I was lying on the side of a hill, half covered in snow from a small-scale avalanche, breathing heavily.
Mixing ripit with four loko full#
I snatched the remaining toxins from their hands and, in succession, drank what would amount to a little over a full can's worth of radioactive horse urine. What exactly I was proving was unimportant. These girls read Cosmo religiously (no, seriously, Becca called it "The Bible") and had undoubtedly been judging me on a mind-boggling number of levels since the moment I arrived. When they couldn't quite make it through, one of them suggested that I finish the remainder. The girls packed their purses and struggled to drink the rest of their Lokos. Finally, it was time to go to the party which, as per usual, was being hosted by someone's roommate's older brother. This went on for quite some time, as the song was on repeat. One of these regrettable life choices involved my girlfriend who went to Ohio University, a solid trek away from my school, and began with the initial choice to date said girlfriend, but that is neither here nor there.Īs I sat on an ergonomic space-saving twin bed taking healthy sips of one of the less repulsive Loko flavor variations, my girlfriend (we'll call her Becca) and her roommates held theirs in the air as they did the white-girl-dip-n-twist to "Like A G6." Poor decisions were a staple of my freshman year of college. Still, there was no denying the effectiveness. What you saved in cash you made up for in regret and nausea the following day. For the price of a pack of 5 Gum you could achieve new heights of recklessness. It was a go-to for college students on a budget, or for high-school kids out of options.
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